An Honorary Spanish Diva, I am

Monday, October 31, 2005

"La Sad Girl"

here it is..don't say I didn't promise it to you..


It's the most wonderful time of the year..

Scary Halloween everybody!

Tis the season to be jolly. I haven't done much to enjoy the day, but this weekend I went to a uninspiring party and subsequently to a suburban disco-bar. Not much to talk about there, but it was at least nice to see a few people I hadn't seen in a while, even if some weren't exactly too "thrilled" to see me. But whatever, I don't give a fuck. "No soy monedita de oro pa' caerles bien a todos, asi naci y asi soy. Si no me quieren, ni modo." But the hilarious part was my outfit...I was a "Chola", hahahaha. I had a big pony tail, black lip liner, saggy titties and big dickie pants and a flannel shirt. I looked hot, apparently so because some ghetto guy at the aforementioned party told me "damn, u look like a female for real!". So you see children, Ms. Diva got it going on and has what the "ese's" like... I don't have a pic of my outfit, so here's a nice shot to tide you over until I do,

FRIDAY guys....the AMANDA MIGUEL CONCERT!!!! meow! meow! I can't wait!! woo hoo! To anyone who knows about her, please go see her. She's such a fierce singer and will entertain you! I'll see you there!

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Puerto Rico is NOT a country

You got that, plucked eyebrow Prince-looking motherfuckers? Puerto Rico is not a country, it's a giant island that mooches off the U.S. If anything, the whole island is on welfare, so fuck off with that Puerto Rican pride and Taino bullshit.

Puerto Rico has easily got to be the trashiest piece of land in Latin America...and that's quite a feat in a hemisphere that includes "Laura En America" and Peru!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Tom & Jerry and "racist" cartoons

There is a new DVD collection that just came out today. It's "Tom and Jerry: The Spotlight Collection Vol. 2". I never really payed attention to this until I saw it in the backroom at work, and noticed it had a warning "Tom and Jerry: The Spotlight Collection vol 2" is intended for the adult collector and may not be suitable for children". I was INCREDIBLY THRILLED by this! I loved "Tom and Jerry" and MGM Cartoon Shorts of the 40's in general growing up...and in fact I still have 10 VHS tapes I made where I have tons of these cartoons IN THEIR UNEDITED formats. What I mean by this is, that sometime in the "PC" 90's, Hanna-Barbera (the owners of MGM cartoons) decided it was "racist" to air these very blunt cartoons with "Mammy" (come on, who doesn't remember her voice yelling "THOMAS!!") and tons and tons of Blackface references.

Let's take a moment and review one of my favorite Tom and Jerry cartoons, and a perfect example of this so-called "racism". It's a short from 1948 titled "Mouse Cleaning", which unfortunately is not on any of these discs of this collection. In this cartoon, Mammy is stepping out of the house to do some shopping and she commands Tom to keep the house clean, and if she came back and the house was dirty, "we iz gon be minus one cat 'roun here!". So, all is going well, u know the standard "Jerry is a dick and fucks up the house to mess with Tom" routine...but at the end, when Mammy is on her way back, Jerry reroutes the coal being dumped by the truck (a 40's thing I guess for furnaces) from the basement to the living room, filling the whole place with coal. When Mammy opens the door, she is flooded and drowned out by all this coal. She gets up, of course not being able to see her face, and says "Boy! when I lays my hand on that no good cat, I'll make it plenty hot in here" and just as she says that, Tom's head peaks out from the coal, and he's completely black minus white lips. Obviously in black face and unrecognized by Mammy, she asks "Hey you! have u see a no good cat roun here?". Tom answers back, in plain Jimcrow slave talk and with enlarged lips..."No maam! I aint see no cat roun here! Nah-uh! They aint no cat, no way, no how, noooo ma'am", while walking away with his head squatted down with his big big lips. Finally realizing that this cat was Tom, mammy chases him down, throwing coal at him, and eventually lands one square on his head. The end! I'm sorry but I couldn't find a picture of this, you'll have to bear with me.

This cartoon has NEVER been seen anywhere on television anymore and I happen to have it on VHS. Everytime they air this cartoon (well at least when they actually used to play "Tom and Jerry" on TV), they would immediately cut from the coal spilling out of the house, to Mammy yelling "Thomas!" and throwing the coal at Tom. Racist? yes! Innaproppriate? Yes! Relevant to history? Yes! Does it deserve to be ignored? NO! I'm sorry, but this was and is a part of history and that's what the mentality was back then. It's not right, but white-washing history and pretending it never happened is not going to make it any better, it'll just make it likely to repeat the mistakes but with different scenarios. Take your pick at issues, sexual preference, financial income..etc and I'm sure you can agree that its still something that people are insensitive and ignorant about and make presumptions and unfair judgements about.

But back on track, about this whole "Tom and Jerry" business. There are tons of other references that have been edited from TV. Like the fact that Mammy had rum in the bathroom, the one cartoon where Tom was drunk. Oh and Asian jokes too have been removed. OH MY GOD, that reminds of my all-time favorite cartoon shorts, "Magical Maestro" where a magician sabotages a tenor's concert by playing magic tricks during his act. Whenever they showed this on TV, they edited out soooo many "un-P.C.", where the Magician throws a cymbal on top of "Poochini's" head and he turns Asian and sings something in faux Asian gibberish...and another part where a member of the audience throws ink at his face and he turns black..and sings "honey chile, everything u has is mine!". I dunno what that meant, but it was still a cheap laugh.

You know, I watched these cartoons growing up and I grew up fine. I knew it was wrong to laugh at those jokes but I also never thought it to be an actual portrayal of black people. Cuz I was a smart little boy and not a retard! Seeing these cartoons, as long as they're explained to children or even young adults, CAN BE EDUCATIONAL and not damaging to a persons mind. We can't white-wash history like this. What's next, erasing "Slavery" from History books because it promotes hatred of white people for what they did to blacks?

Oh well...what can we do.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Danielle Harris & a "Pack Of Wolves"

This weekends, as always, was spent working. I didn't do much, but I've been sick so it's not been fun. Yesterday I had a temperature and my supervisor wouldn't let me leave early. Oh well. So today I am off and spent the day in bed, periodically getting up only for bathroom breaks and now, computer break.

So last night I figured I may need something to watch, so I rented 2 "Halloween" films...the expectedly bad "Halloween: Resurrection" starring Busta Rhymes and Miss Tyra Banks. It twas indeed a bad film, but hey, aren't all "horror" movies bad? What was up in the beginning, after Michael kills Laurie Strode, Michael goes up to that one patient and gives him his knife? Was it because he knew he was a geek and would appreciate his murder weapon? I thought it was funny and came out of nowhere. Did anyone see the deleted scenes on the DVD? They cut off a funny part, Michael Myers drives up to his old house, gets out of the car..and as he's standing there, he activates the car alarm..hahahaha. Michael didn't want motherfuckers stealing his ride, u know.

The other "Halloween" film I rented was the BRILLIANT and most well-done chapter since the original..."Halloween 5: The Revenge Of Michael Myers". I was 7 when this film came out but didn't see it until a year later in 1990 at the age of 8. I LOVED this movie as a kid, and had not seen it in at least 8 years. I have to buy it one of these days. I remember as a kid I was obsessed with the whole "Jamie" character played by the lovely and talented Danielle Harris, which was obviously named after Jamie Lee Curtis. In "Halloween 4", the story followed the pattern of the original..and Michael Myers is trying to get his niece, Jamie, and kill her. Jamie was the daughter of Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), who for unexplained reasons was apparently killed and Jamie has been living with adopted parents. At the end of this film, Jamie attempts to kill his mother and opens up the door for the possibility of another killer. In "Halloween 5", Michael lives and Jamie has been in the Children's Psychiatric Hospital under the care of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). In this movie, we see that Jamie has developed a telepathic bond with Michael and can see everything he sees and everyone he kills. It was a great angle for this story, very well done and very effective. This is a great horror film.

You know, that reminds me of how much of a loser I was as a kid, and would obsess over Danielle Harris. Not because she was cute, and she definitely is, but more so because I thought she was so cool to be in a Halloween series, and I watched her in "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead" and subsequently on "Roseanne", playing the slutty girl next door neighbor Molly. I always followed her career and would try to see what she was in. I remember I was so happy to see her in "Urban Legends". She was the goth girl. here's a recent pic . I just found out she was a FANSITE and hardcore fans who love I guess I shouldn't feel like such a loser eh? Here's the link.

Oooooooh! I got something in the mail today!!! My DVD copy of the 1986 Mexican trashtastic soap opera "CUNA DE LOBOS"! At first I thought it as a bootleg, but this is a real DVD that was released in 1997 in MExico!! Wow!!! It's short as fuck but I'm so excited! I can't wait to watch it tonight. The story revolved around Catalina Creel, the villain who stole the show. She built an empire and desperately wanted an heir to her fortune. Her son married a barren woman and could not have kids, so they devise a plan where her son, played by Alejandro Camacho (remember his as "Federico" in "Muchachitas"?), has an affair with his secretary and gets pregnant. Upon having her baby, he pays the doctor to tell him that he was a stillbirth and takes the baby to be raised by him and his wife as the heir to the Creel Enterprises. TRASHY TRASHY TRASHY! I can't wait to re-watch it. I was 5 when this "telenovela" was on and barely remember it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Discounts and apples

Hello chirruns..

So today I've done nothing. I was off and did just that. It was nice! Earlier today I ate a quesadilla with some old spinach tortillas and it gave me a stomach ache. I feel okay now but I think that added to my desire of doing nothing.

Yesterday I worked and Sara Valenzuela (see previous post) was there shopping. I was nice and said hello, to which she gave me a hug and kiss. I told her that she was great on Sunday and she looked great. After a while, I was working in my latin section at Tower, and she goes up to me and says "Hey, som of the guys in the band told me that they got a discount when we were here on Saturday, you think I can get a discount today?". Hahahaha, she was adorable. The way she asked, I can't describe, she was just funny. So yes, the store manager gave her a 20% discount. Lovely girl.

Oh my god! AMANDA MIGUEL is coming in 2 weeks! I'm so geeked! I got on the guest list at House of Blues, so I should be okay! For anyone else interested in Amanda Miguel's show in Chicago, click here for ticket information. I want a full house! Amanda's never here in Chicago! And none of my favorite signers ever come to Chicago. At least I'll get to see Amanda...yay!

This past weekend, as you may have read on bomitoni's blog, we saw the trashy Lucía Méndez film "La Ilegal", which included a sequence in which she was a go-go dancer and lip synched while singing "Who wants to buy...who wants to apples tonight?". I can't stop singing that! It's almost a joke between me and Joe, we call each other and say "Oh and one more thing..who wants to buy.."". We're such dorks. Come on, you know you want to sing.

Oh well, look for Daniela Romo 's new novela "Alborada" premiering soon...with Lucero as the lead. We'll see how that goes..Lucero hasn't had a hit soap in 10 years when she had "Lazos de amor"

Monday, October 17, 2005

Texas boys and older broads

I'm sure this is the 3rd blog you're going to be reading about this, but whatever, bear with me, fuckers! This weekend has been a total unexpected blast. I had alot of fun. I must say that it's been a real pleasant surprise. I already had a plan of seeing FANGORIA in concert, as my boo boo is a big fan of Alaska and I like them as well, obviously not nearly enough as him. So the fun begins on Saturday, where Sara Valenzuela, Fangoria's opening act and former lead singer of Mexican rock band La Dosis, was doing an in-store performance at Tower Records.
That was alot of fun and I did not expect Sara to be so upbeat and fun! She reminded me a bit of Jamiroquai at times. She was great. So then my Sunday morning began with a trek to RadioRTE, the low power radio station that brought Fangoria to Chicago, yay!!!! Alaska and the band were there and many of her starchasing fans were outside waiting for autographs and pics. It was a nice surprise because they actually let people come in to the studio after she was done with her interview! So that was cool. I didn't get to say much to Alaska as I was being rushed. Here's a pic of Mr. E, Chicago's Sexbox, me and Joe "bomitoni"

The concert..well I'm sure u have read on Eddie's and Joe's blogs already, so I won't need to retype details here. If you haven't, just click on their names to read their blogs. All I'll say is that Alaska and her band know hot to put on a show. The band was funky as all hell and Alaska looked like she was having alot of fun. AND SHE SUNG "A QUIEN LE IMPORTA?"!!! How cool was that?! I had alot of fun, and it was nice meeting alot of people there. Shout outs to Alex, his friend Mauro...Pedro and Lalo from Texas..You guys are all fierce! Lalo, we'll have to have a Daniela Romo throwdown next time you're in Chicago.

Friday, October 14, 2005

DIANA REYES is going to be smacked!

1. Sol No Regresa -cover of La Quinta Estación
2. Mentiras - cover of THE ONE and only DANIELA ROMO
3. Se Fue - cover of 80's teen queen KARINA from Venezuela
4. Como una Mariposa - cover of female trio PANDORA
5. Tu Gaban - cover of BEATRIZ ADRIANA
6. El Me Mintio - sacriligious cover of AMANDA MIGUEL
7. Celos - once again...covering the incomparable DANIELA ROMO
8. Que Me Ame Mas - was also sung by Jennifer Peña on her "hit" album
9. Sé Como Suele - once again covering KARINA
10. Mi Ranchito - a standard

So...the "Queen" of Duranguense (trashy trashy trashy regional Mexican music resembling circus music, which originated in Chicago, believe it or not) has decided to release an album of covers...but alas..SHE COVERED MY WOMEN! This whole album consists of godawful "duranguense" covers, with her awful tone deaf deep voice, of almost all 80's songs by female singers and La Quinta Estación. I can handle one or two covers..maybe even three...but NO ONE can cover my Daniela Romo. ESPECIALLY NOT in this trashy style. Ooooooh...I dread to see the day when some stupid naco comments..." gusta la cancion de Diana de "Mentiras"...cuz that bitch is going to get eaten by yours truly. Dumb trashy overtly made-up trannie looking cunt, can't even hold a note and has the audacity to ruin GOOD SINGER'S SONGS. Grrrrr. I wonder if a certain Chicago "sexbox" likes this.

I just wanted to ventilate for a moment...I'm on my period and this set me over the edge. I'm going to go change my Kotex now.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Don't try this at home, children

Me and my boo were lying on the couch, being lazy on this Tuesday night..when we hear a knock on our front door. We're both like, "what the fuck?". Our daffy upstairs neighbor was at the door, and asked for a "weird" favour. I'm thinking, "donate a kidney?! eat pussy?!". But no. She had a magnet stuck to her head. YES, you read correctly..a MAGNET WAS STUCK ON HER HEAD. I'm sure you're just as puzzled as I was..."how the fuck can one get a magnet stuck to your head?". She explained that it was a "long" story (no shit?) and that she mistakingly had the magnets get stuck to her hair. You know, cuz that's a very common problem. She asked me if I could help her take the magnet apart from one another. Well, I have no idea where she got them from, but damn those things were strong! She said that she tried to pry it off with a knife, and I'm thinking "Oh Jesus, so for some uknown reason u get a strong magnet stuck to you and now you were going to be stupid and try to slice it open?". After strong pulls, I managed to pry them apart.

She explained that she had a headache and had read that putting magnets on each side of your head works. She didn't realize how strong the magnets worked so it got stuck to each other on her hair. She's lucky she didn't fracture her skull! Those magnets were incredibly charged. Mind you, this woman is a school teacher. You'd think some common sense would have found itsway to her cranium. I found it funny, nonetheless. Some shit is just crazy.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Maria Rojo and my geekyness

Holy shit!

The 41st Chicago International Film Festival has been going on since the beginning of the month. Normally, I try to see at least one film or more if I can, if money and my schedule permits. Who can remember my choice for last year, the horrible "Ma Mere" from France? So, after looking at the pamphlet for the selections for this year's festival, a few stuck out that I wanted to see. But, the one I was hellbent on seeing was "Two Auroras" from Mexico. The story sounded good, suicidal son blames his problems on his mother, who returns from living abroad to take care of him. He then takes his revenge by writing a scathing screenplay titled "Mother" and wants her to act in it. Most importantly, the REAL reason why I wanted to go was because it was starring one of my favorite actresses, MARIA ROJO. So, I requested to leave early from work on that day and bought my tickets and me and my boyfriend went.

Glad I did, for as always, the festival was packed. After waiting in line and getting seated, we wait there and all of a sudden, someone squealed and I looked down and there was Maria Rojo and the Director!!!! I was floored, I had no idea que was going to be here! I was speechless. I thought it to be a freaky coincidence..or a cosmic force. I mean the only reason why I came to see this film was because Maria was in it, and there she was, in person! Talk about a freaky moment!

After the film and after the bried Q and A session, people went down and said hello and thank you to the director and Maria. I was almost NOT going to go up to her, as I was speechless and didn't know what to say. So..I go up to her and approach her ultra warm smile..and begin my babble (yes, my man still makes fun of me for my geekyness). I roughly said to her, in Spanish as she didn't speak a word of English (The director translated her Q's during the question session).."Wow, I'm not a movie lover at all..and in fact only chose to see this ONE film from all the ones playing in the festival because you're in it! I love your work as an actress! So now to see you here, it's a nice surprise and freaky coincidence! I'm floored". She looked at me attentively and said "You don't like movies?!?!?!?! You look like the type that would! *haha*. What a should come to the movies more often! Especially for Mexican films!". She seemed dissapointed in me..but I'd like to think she was flattered. Oh, I also asked her if she knew if "Danz�n", her internationally acclaimed film from 1991, would ever be released on DVD. She said it's coming out soon! Yay! I told her I was 9 years old when the film came out and that it made me a fan. She had this look on her face as if to say "Oh Jesus". Hahaha..I hope I didn't make her feel old..saying that and she seeing me as a grown man. I would feel flattered, wouldn't you? Oh, another thing. I completely ignored the director!!!! I feel awful..I was just so starstruck by Maria that bad of me? Was I rude?

So, that was my geeky moment from this weekend. I swear I NEVER get geeked when meeting celebrities. I wasn't even geeked when I met Tiffany 2 years ago. It's just weird. Maybe because this meeting was unexpected. Who knows. But then again, the only other celebrity I was geeked to meet was my idol (in English at least, y'all know who I love) Cyndi Lauper. And that meeting was expected, it was at an in-store 3 years ago at Tower Records. Curiously the same location I now work at. Who knows, it was all cool though, and now I have met one of my movie divas.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Second final notice

Hello world,

It's the end of my thursday night. The day was uneventful really. I spent most of it lying in bed with my Shih Tzu, Chus. It was fucking cold, more so because the day before it was incredibly humid. So today's 55 degree weather felt chilly. I LOVE it! Fall's here!

As most of you know, this year's been a weird one for me. I lost my job in January and have been working retail (Tower Records) since before the summer. It's all good and the job is great, but unfortunately I make almost half as what I was earing at UIC (University of Illinois-Chicago). So the last few months have been a constant battle with my wallet. I never have enough money for anything anymore and all my bills are past due. I got a lovely second "final notice" from People's Energy. I felt loved...I got a second final warning :)

But whatever, I'm not going to waste my brain cells worrying about bills and money. Whatever gets paid gets paid and what doesn't can kiss my ass. I still haven't bought my Amanda Miguell tickets!! oh no!! I can't not go! She's one of my main divas! I have to go! She'll never beat Daniela Romo in my heart, but Amanda's up there.

I'd like to take the opportunity and comment on this matter. Do you ever feel like you HAVE to listen to chatty old people when they speak? You know, in your neighborhood, work or church? I have this lovely old gentleman customer at Tower. Nice little old man, has to be at least 1,000 years old. Has an old hoarse voice and I try to be as nice as I can. He's a nice fellow and has given me a cool Connie Francis in Spanish LP. But I try to only talk to him when I have nothing to do because HE TALKS FOREVER! And normally, those who know me can verify, I rudely tell people that I don't have time to talk. But I feel weird..he's so old! I feel like every day is a gift from God and anyday can be his last. I figure I can let him ramble all he wants. Is that evil of me?

Oh well, I'm sure one day I'll be an old queen myself. Hopefully I'll get lucky and become one of those angry and bitter old men who bitch about everything and ridicule young people. Hehehhe.

Peace out!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Like a touch me for the very first time!!!

Hello internetland,

My love affair with the net has blossomed and now have I entered a new cycle. I finally got around to starting my blog! So fans of my bitchy comments on ,, or even the Lucia Mendez forum on can enjoy my own private bitching hole on this blog!

To those who don't know me, let me introduce myself. I'm known as a "Spanish Diva". It mostly has to do with my menopausal woman musical taste, but I'd like to think that it's because of my grandeur and dominant prescence, hehehehehe. I live in the Windy City and I've been here all of my life. Normally people would complain about that, but honestly, I love Chicago. It's a city full of activity, passions, racism, unstable weather and most importantly, life. I think that the ruggedness of the atmosphere here have shaped my personality into incorporating many conflicting layers. I'm happy and at the same time the most depressing person. An optimist with a goal in life.

Another aspect of myself that people find interesting is my fascination with Old Spanish female singers. Hahaha! What, it's not normal for a 23 year old guy to be obsessed with Daniela Romo, Massiel, Amanda Miguel, Dulce, Yuri, Maria Conchita Alonso, Lucia Mendez, Pandora, Prisma, Angela Carrasco, Isabel Pantoja, Rocio Jurado, Paloma San Basilio and Denise De Kalafe? I don't think it is, I love the fact that these women, not only had to have talent...but had to embrace popular music and its campiness. That is a rarity nowadays, to find a balance like that in popular music. All women have to be now is slutty. Back then, not only did u have to be sensual...but you ACTUALLY HAD TO BE ABLE TO CARRY A SONG. That's why I love Daniela Romo. She embodies all that I have mentioned, and NEVER compromised herself. She was a sex symbol and never ever won fame and success based on her body. How many pictures have you ever seen of Daniela where she's scantily clad?

So there you have, a quick peek into my personality and the possibilities that this blog will offer you, the reader. Stay tuned and I promise i'll make each stop into my blog an interesting one!

Peace out,

The Spanish old lady

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