An Honorary Spanish Diva, I am

So this past weekend was very eventful. We finally moved to the new apartment, now its just a matter of picking up lotsa little things that eventually add up (3 trips and counting) but the hard part is over. For the most part it was an easy move though the movers broke my computer desk's arm so now I have to get that replaced. The wood was broken from the hinge so I dunno if I can drill it or fix it. In a way I see this as a new year because from this point I only see upsides and changes, both here and personal and career wise.

Also, this weekend was pride. I am going to say this honestly and openly because I use this tool to vent and communicate my happenings to you all. I had a LOUSY time at Pride. It was a combination of things with one incident making it all boil.


First off, I was worried because, as you all know, I am currently not working full time and receiving benefits from the State. So I didn't get my check which I was expecting and its still not here! I don't know if it's the new address or what but I haven't panicked yet, this isn't the first time there's been a delay in the mail. I was already downtrodden in my mood about me not having money for pride so, it was hard. Then that morning was a disaster because I haven't unpacked everything and the apartment is still full of boxes. I had an outfit layed out that I was going to wear and at the last minute I LOST it! Unbelievable as it may sound its true! So i had to wear something all wrinkled and plain that I found in a hamper and went off, with my mood already on the borderline of wanting to stay home.

And then the pinnacle. My bf for whatever reason made his Pride plans around his straight girl co-worker who I honestly have not hung around with very often and acts like a typical girl, attention deficient, self centered and constantly talking about nonsense mostly about herself. So it's safe to say that although I don't know her very well, she irks me at times. Keep that in mind for what I am about to say.

So on the way to pride she asked about my job hunt. Now of course with this situation I really don't tend to talk about it as I spend enough time worrying about it on my own I don't need to make it a topic of conversation at social gatherings. Unless of course it's a networking even to which of course this was not. I said it was going and she said "Go work at McDonald's". I just ignored that one and said "yeah ok whatever" to which she replied "Since when do you have principles"?

Do you all see where this is headed? Yes, at this point, still keeping quiet and just kinda brushing it off, I started to think "who the fuck does she think I am, her best friend??". THEN came the next incident, I was commenting on how its always my stroke of luck that when drunk I always have the urge to go #2! Lol, I know this is awful but its happened like 5 times. And I hadn't gone that day so I was worried it would occur again. So then she goes ahead and says another comment..."Just do what all the unemployed people do and take a dump behind a dumpster". At this point I really didn't care for that and I said "fuck you" and looked away, still trying to avoid a full on confrontation.

And now here is where it got ugly. I have no idea what was wrong with this stupid bitch thinking that she could talk that way or comment on me in that matter, but she said "Awww..Tower closed and now you can't find a job". OMG, that's when I really got pissed and told her that she's really out of line and that's not cool. It's none of her business as to how I get payed and she had no right to make cracks like that. And in any case, why should I offer you any explanations about my life, who the fuck are you to feel as if you have some sort of right to tell anyone what to do?

WHO the fuck do you think you are? You don't know me like that and I really don't understand the need for this. I have never even commented on this persons work or personal life, EVER, and suddenly she feels she has the right to make comments like this? I was so angry and annoyed.

Surely this sounds like unnecessary drama for me on a day where its supposed to be for me, a gay guy with my boyfriend. And did he say something to HIS friend about this. NO! That's the part that really surprised me. And as silly as it may sound, I did not say anything in the respect to my boyfriend about this because I naively wanted him to have a good time. I figured he deserved it. I mean if I were to invite one of my Friends or co-workers and he made a comment about my boyfriend out of a personal topic like that, rest assured I would immediately take action and say "Dude, not cool at all. Do not disrespect my bf like that. I'm not going to make him uncomfortable, I think you better leave". That never happened. But after the initial altercation, this stupid bitch at first tried to brush it off as if me being upset was no big deal with "Oh let's squash it and move on" to which I responded with a FUCK YOU OK?. She then tried to hug me to which I pushed her away, got in her face and told her to get away from me, that she and I are done and not come near me.


Now for those who know me personally, I know that i have my history of off-colour remarks at times but can someone honestly come up and tell me that I said things of this nature when not necessarily knowing them on a friend-to-friend basis? I really don't even make cracks like this to my good friends, let alone from someone who is merely an acquaintance of my boyfriend. I could never see myself saying anything this INSENSITIVE to anyone that I either met not too long ago or don't know as well.

So all throughout pride, I tried my best to have a good time and let my bf have one as well but it really wasn't working. I guess people must have thought I was already wasted as I was quiet and uninspired but I tried. I'm letting all this go and hopefully I will get over the hurt of my love of my life allowing one of his friends to treat me like that on our day of celebration. I will hopefully get over the fact that he doesn't see the big picture and will probably still allow this friend at our functions. I will hopefully get over the fact he didn't and hasn't stuck up for me as I would for him in this kind of occurence. I will hopefully get over the disappointment but as of now, I'm not there yet. All I know is that this is a reminder of the kind of people I will deal with even though I ever expected to be subjected to this in this manner and at MY social function by one of my bf's guests.


Thank you all for reading and should the guilty party find this post, rest assured that I have now a full reason to spit in your face. I hope someday you'll reflect and study what you say and who you say it to because you got off easy with me. Maybe one day you can buy a brain and tact and realize who you can say things to and in what matter.

You know, there's people who have such an affable personality that always seem to shine and smile all the time. I'm sure like every human person, these people have their bad days and once they're not smiling, people think something's wrong. So the bad side of being nice all the time is that apparently you're not allowed to have bad days. So it sucks being nice all the time.








......to those who know me personally, you're probably laughing by now right? well TO HELL WITH YA! :) OK, the reason why I'm writing this is because I actually suffer from the opposite aura. People think I'm MEAN! I really don't get it. Perhaps it's the fact that when I first meet people and/or learning new tasks, I never smile. I'm not exactly sure why because believe me, I'm not cold or have no sense of humour. I just seem to give off this aura of bitchiness which I can honestly say is not entirely true. What person isn't happy and friendly yet at the same time has some inner bitch in them that comes out when needed?

So the problem with me is..days when I actually FEEL like smiling..people act like something is wrong with me! It's funny even people who I don't even normally talk to on an every day basis, say co-workers or even a neighbor, make comments when you smile at them. "You're in a good mood today". "Wow, you seem happy for a change!". HOW RUDE! I can be happy and not smile you know! I don't need to prance around like Julie Andrews to be a happy guy!

Lol. But the funniest aspect of all this, I've been told by a few people who I have met at social gatherings, "You're so much nicer when you're drunk". LOL!!!! That alone made my mood much better. It's so funny. I don't think there is anything wrong with my personality. I've always thought of myself as approachable and reasonable. I never lose my temper over stupid things and as a matter of fact it takes a lot for me to panic about something. Generally I'm patient and calculative so I don't ever find a need for hostility, Yet people seem to think I am mean. Oh well.

So I guess the dark side of not being overtly and obviously nice is not being allowed to feel happy and smile once in a while.

At least it is for me..:(


Ever since as far as I could remember, I have suffered from insomnia. It actually stemmed from 2 other issues that I will discuss eventually on another post but still, since my "tweens" I've had this. All throughout high school I found it hard to sleep sometimes. I'd sleep one day for 14 hours and then another day I would not sleep at all. I hate it. I actually remember having issues in which I thought in the middle of the night someone was going to come through my window so I couldn't sleep. Insane I know, it's a miracle I made it out of that one with no therapy.

Recently I was doing good at keeping my sleep balanced but I went out last week and it fucked me up. So I was up all night today, uuuuugh. That's it, tonight me and Mr. Nyquil are having a night together.

..7 up!




Omg, I had forgotten about this childhood game! We used to play this in school. You'd pick 7 kids and everyone else had to do as the title suggests. Then those 7 kids would touch someone's thumb and when done you had to guess which one did it. If you got it right, u switched spots.


Omg..the things I randomly remember. Most of my childhood is being repressed with licquor and ciggarrettes *looks around the room*

:)

So yesterday was Chicago's pit stop for the Cyndi Lauper headlined TRUE COLORS TOUR




It's a benefit concert for gays and all the proceeds go to fight for gay rights or something.

I would have gone had I had more money and more time to do so. But we're moving and can't really spend anything. I don't have expendible income right now, it's all hand to mouth. But what makes me so sad about this tour is that she sang "Hole In My Heart", " When You Were Mine" and "Goonies". :( I would have loved to have seen that. "Hole In My Heart" was a fun song from her floptastic movie "Vibes" of 1988.


Oh well, maybe next time.


However, I'll give a shoutout to my friend James who loves Cyndi Lauper 100x more than I do so you can imagine how interesting the obsession can be. :) He's awesome though and he managed to make the trip from Ohio to come see her here in Chicago so I did get something out of this True Colours shit. We met years ago at another Cyndi event 5 years ago and have kept touch ever since. It was nice hanging out with you! It was hella fun! Next time I'll be a lady :D

Toodles!

hi sweeties!! I've been busy as we're moving out of here in 2 weeks so I haven't had time to correllate all my thoughts onto text format. I promise a more detailed post soon! thank you all so much for checking this blog for updates! Your diva appreciates the love!


In the meantime, I leave you all with this. It's an interesting biography (in Spanish) of Maria Elena Velasco, better known as "La India Maria".