An Honorary Spanish Diva, I am

I think one of the saddest things is to die without saying your goodbies. An untimely death is unfortunate enough but to never get the chance to tell that person you love that the time you had together was priceless is just sad.

The whole business with that poor 5 year old girl who died after being sedated at the dentists office in Little Village (neighborhood in Chicago) just gets to me. Imagine her poor mother, simply taken her little girl for a routine check up, never knowing that was the last time she would see her alive. That's just messed up. I don't think I'm strong enough to ever survive a blow to my heart like that.

That's why I always try to make it a habit of hugging and telling the people I love that I love them. Call me morbid...but ever since a very young age, I have been prepared to die. I know it mortified my mother back in the day when I would constantly say "If I'm still living" and it bothers Joe, my boo boo, alot. Part of it stemmed from my deppression but even know that I am happier than before, I am concsious that life is all but a moment. We're all part of God and our life isn't worth more than others yet at any moment it could all end. When you leave for work or anytime you're out something could come up. Why something could happen to me right now even in the comfort of my own home to kill me.

So much for sad thoughts though.

I hate it when I get into my "woe is me" mood that I just can't fix. I'll be the first person who makes fun of people bitching about how crappy their life is. I'm always trying to find the light in the darkest moments. I may not always succeed but goddamnit I try. But lately I feel like such a loser. I feel like a waste of flesh. My mind races and I feel my body paces. The fact that I still haven't landed a job (that pays well) really really lowers my self esteem even though I know all I can do is keep trying. I just feel like curling up in a ball and have my mommy rub my head.

But then I look at everything I have and know that I'm really lucky. Lucky to be here, lucky to be able to see the world and lucky even to be able to type this blog entry. I have to keep playing the balancing act to my unstable and ever so hungry mind.

Anyway, this doesn't make sense to me either....keep reading my blog for future and relevant entries

So I rarely watch TV, I really do! Only when I'm in bed and absolutely have nothing else in mind to dedicate my time to. So the only times I turn on the TV and flip channels tend to be on Mondays or Wednesdays (when I'm home in the evening). During those times, I always come across lotsa reality shows.

The one's that I absolutely cannot watch are either "Nanny 911" or "Super Nanny".


The fact that there are kids like this is reason enough to never want to have them. Then again it's mostly the parents at fault for allowing this to occur. These shows make my BLOOD BOIL! I get disgusted at the parent's apathy and lack of disciplinary tactics to their kids. They let them run around and step all over them yet bitch about how they can't control their kids when they don't even try to empower their kids. I'm sorry....but an ASS WHOOPIN' never hurts anyone and gets the point across. I'm no parent, but I was reared by 2 strong Mexican parents who never tolerated disrespectul behavior, especially in public. When I got out of line, I got a whoopin and I learned my lesson, I knew to stop. There's a certain extent to beatings and not all of them constitute as abuse. When you utilize corporal punishment to control a child that fails to cooperate, that's ok discipline. But when u utilize corporal punishment to make every command, then that's just unnecessary abuse. Beating your child when he's screaming his head off when you tell him to shut up is not abuse, he needs to learn his lesson. But if you beat the shit out of your kid because he didn't go to bed on time, then that's something else. Am I making sense here?

Sorry for the ramble...I just can't stand wild children and lazy parents. That's why I can't watch this kind of TV.It's not entertainment to me, it angers me. Thank god I'm never going to be responzible for bringing a child into this world. I'm fine with my baby Chus, the SHih Tzu.

The laptop I was using as my only source of internet seems to have burnt out. So I shall not be online for an indefinite amount of time. I have a internet lab literally around the corner from where we live so I should be checking my shit at least every other day. I shalt miss my daily check ups on gossip and other tidbits online. I'm feeling like a crack whore already with withdrawals. I used to wake up, make coffee and go online. Eat and go online....:(

I'm trying to get a new computer, hopefully I can afford to get it on credit or something.

Peace folks! Keep me updated on my shit

For all my Messikin friends (as in from there)...

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY




You all should watch "One Man's Hero" with Tom Berenger and the best singer ever, Daniela Romo. Its about the Irish immigrant help Mexico had with the US-Mexican war. Daniela's acting was fierce and her accent was cute.

Those bitches woke my ass up this morning! Fuck you and your imaginary kingdom! We've got world hunger and you wasting time talking about a place where lions and humans get along.

Fuck that, I'm tired!

I just saw "The Village". Don't know what made me rent this movie, but I chose to rent it because I've seen all his other work and was curious about this one. All his movies have similiar themes and a big twist.


WHAT THE FUCK was this movie about???? So a bunch of crazy Amish people were fooling their community into thinking they're in 1892????? It was so unplausible. Anyone else seen this? I'm not sure what Shyamalan was thinking with this...but what a snoozefest.

Now that I'm on the topic of M. Night Shyamalan, I'm convinced that the poor guy always wanted to be an actor as opposed to directing but figured that the Hollywood machine would never take an Indian-American person seriously as an actor but moreso a character so he opted to create films. I say that because he always gives himself roles in his movies and I always see this glimmer in his eyes, like he's so happy to be playing someone who isn't just an ethnicity. In "Sixth Sense" he was a doctor (ok, so that is a stereotype), in "Signs", he was the local who drunk drove and killed Mel Gibson's wife and in this aforementioned "Village", he was the Head Deputy of the Wildlife Reserve. Cute by all means, I'm very proud of his accomplishments, especially at such a young age. He's become a respected director and that's awesome.


He's really cute too..at least I think so. I'd love to tuck him in at night. But he has an equally goegeous wife. Oh well

Have u guys ever heard this?


Most of you guys know the song in some form. Cathy Dennis did a "cover" of it in 1990 which became a massive hit. I say it like that because Cathy kept the chorus but did entirely new verses so I'm not sure if it constitutes as a cover but more so an "interpretation". So this little ditty from 1984 was soon forgotten to replace it with Cathy's version. I knew the song, and I'm sure sexbox will too, from the horror film "A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge". There was a scene where Jesse, the main character, is dancing while cleaning his room and he pops in this cassette. Come to think of it...WHAT A FAG! Hehehe. But I remember when Cathy's version came out..I kept telling my sister..."hey that's the song from the Freddy Kruegger movie!".

But now that I'm discussing Freddy Kruegger and homosexuality. I read a long time ago that this particular film is highly regarded as a "gay cult classic". Apparently the theme and some of the homoerotic scenes have garnered it praise from that community. The storyline was thought to be a thinly veiled "coming out story". Jesse is fighting with himself..and can't help what he has inside and its making him do things he wishes he wouldn't. The homosexual feelings take the form of Freddy Kruegger, a maniac who kills people. Maybe that's what people feel homosexuality is, a killer? a disease? And that's why they made this film..lol!

Anyway, back on topic...here's the song if you need it. Enjoy! I personally prefer this original version. It sounds much more High-Energy and it has that groove that any person can dance to it. But I still listen to Cathy's version.

download here

What is up with J.lo? She made a career as a token latina girl in Hollywood and can't even speak to the press right? I remember when she was milking the Latino dollar prior to and during "Selena", she would communicate to the Spanish press and not sound so bad. Granted she'd have a Bronx accent but she was intelligible. Now that she's a Hollywood player and she gets work not based on her ethnicity, she's gotten really bad! Either she doesn't speak Spanish at all or does it horribly!



I just saw her on Primer Impacto and said stuff along these lines...."El esposa de Hector Lavoe me llamo 5 años atras y me dijo que ella me queria para yo hiciera la papel de ella en la pelicula". She said more but I forgetm it was really bad and choppy. Dang girl! Get u a Berlitz course! Even Selena, who wasn't raised speaking Spanish, was not this bad! Especialy now that she's releasing her Spanish album in December...she should rethink taking some courses. She can't try to sell herself as a Latina artist recording in Spanish and not take the time to even learn it right. Ditto Xtina Aguilera

What are some of yours?

Mine that causes me my biggest headaches is when I'm already pissed about something...something that's incredible and you tell someone and they ask.."are you serious??" UUUGH! This just pisses me off soooo much more! Can't u just say "that's fucked up!" or "that sucks!"...or even a simple "fuck!" or "damn!". Why ask that? It just makes me want to punch your nose!

Sorry for no updates all week.


Everything's been the same...unfortunately. I'm still working at where I do, the sinking ship of a record store and I'm still me. This weekend I got drunk out of my mind..which I haven't done in at least 2 years. I drank wayyy to fucking much. I'm not drinking like that again.

In case u guys were interested, I uploaded some Shakira remixes. Some are cool (the "La Tortura" one is fab) and some are just bootleg. U can find them here.

Look at how pretty(er) she was with dark hair

Other than that, everything's the same. I've been feeling quiet lately, no offense to anyone.