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Monday, January 22, 2007Imbalance
I've been going though a roller coaster of feelings lately and I haven't felt really talkative. I'm sorry to anyone who has taken it personally. Apparently I'm not the only person and some of you have even bigger issues than mine, so it doesn't help my situation to be stressed out that some of my friends are in the need to reach out to someone and I'm not fully here. I love you all though.
Nothing at all is new with me, all you have to do is go back and read my posts to get an idea. It's the same cycle and am only here for the ride of life contemplating getting off. Then I remind myself that I can't just think of myself and unfortunately for others If I get off it would tear them apart. Maybe I'm being dramatic...maybe it's my chemical imbalances perturbing my sane thoughts, but allst I want to do is numb myself with emptiness for a minute. Cheers posted by musicbeing at 1:48 PM
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1 Comments:
well my friend. sometimes life has ups and life has dips. good think weve got potato chips.
its a hallmark card someone gave me when Chava died. i thought it was useful even if only for the cheesy humor.
but what can I tell ya. even if i've got problems you can call me. remember when i called you that one time and said dude i dont want to talk just sit and drink with me and let me know you're there. its totally sometimes all we need. not a response but a subtle acknowledgement that our own existence is acknowledged.
it doesnt matter where you are financially socially etc. it matters first and foremost that you're healthy. secondly that you are happy or at least you have goals in mind towards said happiness.
like me. i'm not happy right now. but i have goals in mind toward it. one is reconnecting with who I am. and reconnecting with my friends via me.
so, cholo, whence you feel like reaching out. dont dare think my shit will outweigh yours or that i will expect anything. you my negro mmkay?
love you very much
angelica
3:20 PM, February 01, 2007
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